Wife, Mother, Professional Gamer
This is MikomiChan.
I don’t like writing about easy things. It’s the main reason I post so infrequently. If I’m not going to say something new or find a unique angle to a common thought process, I won’t waste time regurgitating clickbait.
That makes this series of stories about women in gaming fun and difficult all at once. I took a while getting this one done for various reasons. I had some irrational fear about the direction of this series. I wondered if I was actually doing something worthwhile. That’s not for me to decide in the end. My job is just to tell good stories.
This was originally supposed to be a podcast-style interview I would post to YouTube. Technical issues forced me to make it an article.
I said in my last post I’m on a mission to find narratives counter to the superficial thoughts around women in competitive gaming. After following Nuggy Bunny around at EVO, I had the chance to meet MikomiChan of Pridestark Gaming.
Writing the story of women in esports means asking all the questions. Even the ones old people like me wonder about. Fortunately, speaking with MikomiChan gave me better understanding as well as hope for girl gamers these days.
What exactly does it mean to be a mother AND a pro gamer?
It’s all about time management. Her son Robbie turns 5 soon, and for as much as MikomiChan wants to believe she’s in control, Robbie runs the world.
“As much as I tell him he’s not in charge,” she said, “he’s running my day.”
So how does it all come together? There are bills to pay, sponsors to talk to, and scrims to run. Then there are small things like personal care, making sure Robbie knows his colors and numbers, and eating at some point. It’s about priorities and sacrifice.
“When you have a family, whether you are the mother or the father,” she said in a very matter of fact tone, “if you want to pursue personal endeavors, it requires some sort of sacrifice. So the sacrifice I decided to make is a personal one. I don’t sleep as much as I need to.”
It’s also about make the most of every minute during the day as she supports Pridestark on the business side, cultivates an atmosphere of teamwork on her squad, designs her own cosplay gear, and handles life in general.
She refined these skills in her college years studying pre-med.
“Triage is a concept in medicine where you treat the most serious injuries first and move to the less serious ones,” she said. “I do that in my personal life. I handle the things that are the most pressing like paying rent, making sure my son is eating, getting my team to show up on time for events. Things like that.
“The less important things I handle later. Like the dishes are not an immediate concern when we live in America and have dishwashers. I can do those at the end of the day.”
I can almost hear the sighs all across the country right now.
Dancing Around The Question About Men
So where does her husband, Bobby fit into all of this? He’s is a skilled gamer in his own right. In fact, listening to MikomiChan talk about how they met in college leads me to believe they ended up together just because he beat her at Smash Bros.
“He was the first person to beat me,” she said, smiling. “I thought ‘Oh, you really are a gamer’ because most guys patronize me and play nice not really taking me seriously, but he went to major shows and conventions and competed at a high level.”
Ok, that’s nice and all, but when life is loud and all over the place with Robbie melting down because he didn’t get a nap, wants the green popsicle instead of the red one, and she has a scrim or sponsor call in 20 minutes, how does Dad deal?
“He’s a parent, and he parents,” she said. “Contrary to popular belief husbands do parent. I would have been late to so many tournaments and meetings if my husband didn’t read that bedtime story.
“I’m very fortunate to be married to a gamer who understands the concept of NO, I can’t pause my comp match right now.”
GG, Bobby. GG
Trolling All The Idiots
All the stupidity that comes with being female in a male-dominated world still holds true. Everyone’s a genius in solo queue just like every poker player is the best ever if it wasn’t for that bad runner runner. Every. Single. Time.
It’s as toxic as ever out there in spite of all the effort to change things, and MikomiChan is not immune from it just because of who she is or her talent. That doesn’t change anything for her. She still has fun. She still finds joy in improving herself.
Gaming should be fun before it’s serious, and MikomiChan loves to smurf on her husband’s account when the urge to compete against Masters and Grand Masters just isn’t there.
That’s when the thick-skulled neanderthals pop up like meerkats in the African desert offering their arrogantly condescending free advice on which characters are best and how to run maps the right way. No worries for a professional, though.
“Sometimes I just want to play for fun and enjoy myself,” she says, exasperated. “Then I have people trying to tell me how the game is played or giving me grief for choosing a particular character, and I’m like ‘You can literally Google me.’
Here’s my gamer tag if you don’t believe me. I’m sponsored by a half dozen companies. I don’t have anything to prove to anyone on the ladder. Go away.”
Fortunately, I wasn’t drinking anything when she said that. I would have to buy a new laptop after that spit take.
The Common Themes So Far
Spending time with Nuggy and now MikomiChan I’m seeing a pattern develop. They have their specific levels of success. They’re accomplished in competitive gaming. They both have a deep drive to improve and be better. It’s not these things that are striking. Everyone who does anything significant in life has focus and dedication. That’s the easy part of growth.
What I find more interesting and useful for girl gamers is both women have lives away from the internet. Granted, their particular life stages are different, but that theme is consistent for both.
The often isolating anchor that people lovingly refer to as the grind is eventually a self defeating proposition. It ends up eating the souls of gamers leaving nothing but bitterness and regret. Both Nuggy and MikomiChan have a built in buffer.
That buffer is more than just something to do when they aren’t gaming.
They both have partners who love and support them in all ways. Nuggy has Joe. Mikomi has Bobby. The fact both men aren’t threatened by having a strong woman in their lives is encouraging. It gives me hope for the future in spite of everything to the contrary that is thrown at us daily.
Joe and Bobby both serve their ladies with a devotion written about in books. It’s never really seen because hating men is easy. It’s the simple, shallow thing to do. Finding reasons to be angry is the weak-minded person’s way to find excuses.
This series so far is as much about men as it is women. I never spoke with Bobby, but listening to MikomiChan talk about him I get the feeling he understands that being pro gamer is just as important her as having a solid family. Therefore, he makes appropriate choices affording her the opportunity to achieve her goals. I got the exact same feeling from Joe when I met him at EVO.
The seemingly unquenchable crusade for equality screamed about daily is right there. It’s in these two relationships. Each person supports the other. The men love their partners and lift them. The ladies appreciate and return the feelings with equal devotion.
More To The Story
My recorded interview with MikomiChan went over 45 minutes. There’s enough material for 2 more blog posts and plenty of follow up, but I want to keep these articles readable. So I chose to make this series about people by telling their stories with esports as the starting point but not the focus. That’s exactly the way I want it. Esports is NOT the newest end all and be all of life. It’s the next step in our online evolution. It’s the ultimate equality platform, and it brings us together.
Thanks for stopping by.
Stay tuned. I have much more on the way.
Bill Wagner does lots of things in esports. Writing is just one of them. You can follow him on Twitter and LinkedIn.
